New Eyes

I rise each morning determined to leave a good work in each of my children's hearts. I really try to be loving all the time and to teach patience, strength, and love. Not every day is always successful in these areas. While that bothers me, I know it is part of life. Being the mother of three has strengthened me and well, mentally strapped me too. I am wiser and yet, still clueless. There are days when I question my abilities as a wife and mother and then I am reminded of God's Grace and his infinite wisdom. He would never have given me these three beautiful children without a master plan. Why do I complain about my path in life when God has done so much for me? He gave his only son so that I might be saved and I seem to forget that when I am complaining away about my day, my struggles with work or children, or when my weaknesses become obvious.

I was reminded this week at church to look at life with child-like eyes. I need to remember that God made the most majestic mountains and yet the softest breeze. My children continue to share their view on life with Dan and I and we are given a new way to view the world. After JCH's four month check up yesterday, I was reminded again of God's goodness. She is perfect (weight, developmental marks, etc.). I am blessed to be handed this precious child who trusts me and loves me. Her trust is breathtaking. I am reminded of the love God has for us through the bond I have with my three. No matter my sins, my children's faults, or how my day ends, looking at it all with new eyes is certainly helping.

Sailing Away

After ten years of marriage, I am convinced Dan and I can get through anything together if we can survive five days of Lakeside Sailing Lessons. We have had a good time learning how to do something completely new. Quite humbling to be with your best friend and be so clueless about what you are learning. We have had fun learning from our two Lakeside Sailing Instructors who are college students. Nice kids, but better comedians than instructors. Dan has been the sailor and I have been along for the ride although I am picking up a lot of vocabulary and the concept.

Things to remember about our sailing experience are:

1. We read in the course syllabus (during class) that there was a swim test. We were walked out to the end of the swim pier into the wide open Lake Erie and told to tread waves/water for 4 minutes. We barely passed the four minute swim test, being thrown a life vest in open waters, told to swim to it , put it on (with jello legs) and then to swim fifty yards and back. I thought I would die and then Lakeside would never be the same for my family.

2. Classroom time was a stitch but, learning to use what they taught us when we actually got out on the water was sometimes difficult.

4. Getting hit in the back of the head with the boom (sail) and landing in the water during a game of sail tag was a new experience.

5. Our "big" trip to East Harbor Beach by sailboat was fun but, really slow. We were the first to arrive and the last to get back. Turns out that our boat is a lot smaller than everyone else's boat.

Uncle Jerry

Jerry

brother, uncle

funny, sarcastic, witty

spoils his niece and nephews

adored by his nephews...and now his niece

thoughtful, athletic, supervisor, bachelor, coach

I really enjoy watching my brother as he grows older.

Our friendship continues to grow and change.

Jerry is a loving, excellent dad to AJL.

fisherman, ballplayer, poker player

Thirty-Six years old

friend

Lakeside I

Not much to say with words about this place. Actually it is hard to describe my love for Lakeside without rambling on and looking the fool. "It completes me..." is probably the only way to sum it up. It is my past, present, and future. My Grandma and Grandpa Lanfear started the tradition long before I was around and now that Dan and I own a "little peace of Lakeside", we will show our children how much it means to us. I have been blessed to spend about 3 weeks here off and on this summer. This week marks the Lanfear/Hayes gathering. We are separated into three places this year and I like parts of it and miss other parts of it. I like to have my own space yet, I miss the gathering of the family. I enjoy the laughter and rejoining of the family. My kids love having Uncle Jerry at their disposal. JDH adores Jerry and can't wait to putt putt and shuffle board with him. WCH can't wait to fish. Who knew that Grandma and Grandpa Lanfear would start such a wonderful tradition for our family and their Great Grandchildren. In a small way, Margianne has touched the lives of everyone here this week.

Batdog

Betsy has a new home. The Hayes' have a new dog. Miss Betsy has adapted wonderfully with our family and we are excited to have her.... All except a few potty accidents in the house on the first day and on the day of her "adoption" (translation: check written to shelter), Betsy ate half of our garlic pizza and messed in the house. We call that last incident the "Betsy Party". Her personality is perfect for our family as well as her energy level. She enjoys playing every once in awhile, sleeping a lot, licking and loving, and sniffing for bunnies. Her favorite place to hang out is in our window seat. WCH is thrilled to have her, JDH renamed her Batdog and pays attention to her every once in awhile and Dan thinks she is surprisingly well behaved. I am just glad to have her around. It was either a dog or a therapist.

Betsy Beagle

I couldn't handle it... the pain, the pressure, no pet. Although Dan would rather be petless for another year so that we have no home responsibilities, I can't handle it. I became a Petfinder.com addict shortly after Emma passed and I think I have found the dog for us. We decided that we would both get one shot at a dog and if it didn't happen, we would wait another year. Dan inquired about a Bluetick Coonhound and never heard back from the foster family and I wrote to a shelter in Pickerington about a beagle named Betsy. I received an email about Betsy the other day and we have a date for Thursday morning. Miss Betsy is 3, house-trained, crate-trained, and good with kids. She is due to come on Thursday for a visit and if all goes well... she will stay for a seven day trial run. If we like her, she stays... if we don't, no strings attached and she goes home. My only concern is the lack of a completely fenced in yard. I hope she can win Dan over. I have not fears about the kids and myself.... Keep you posted.

Growing Memories

Our backyard is a place where we can enjoy many things. From the gorgeous playset to the breathtaking flowers, we are in a world of our own. The Hayes five spends much time within the picket fence enjoying such activities as baseball, driving the Gator, frisbee, parties with friends, bonfires, playtime in the sprinkler, picnics and most recently... the family garden. Dan and the boys planted a vegetable garden about a month ago which has apparently attracted a "sweet" bunny family. At first, they nibbled on our corn and now they have destroyed our cauliflour. Dan is brainstorming ways to kindly rid the garden of the hungry family. We have discussed scarecrows, tin pans, and now we are in search of a place that still sells marigolds. My favorite part of the garden is watching Dan walk out to the back of the yard each day to inspect growth. He reminds me of my dad as he used to do the same thing when I was a kid. My dad used to plant an enormous garden in the back of the yard. I recall many hours watching him weed and water the garden. I have so many wonderful memories of throwing strawberries to our chickens, picking my watermelon, and helping my dad water the garden. It sure is fun growing memories.

Who Knew?

If I were asked to find the right words to describe motherhood, I would come up short. In my world, motherhood is indescribable. It has changed once again for me now that I have three children. As I look back to only having one child, I wonder how he survived since I knew nothing about this new world which I was embarking on. Dan and I were so scared trying to be parents to WCH. When we delivered JDH, we were much more relaxed and only lately have had eyes the size of quarters when trying to discipline two wonderfully different boys.

WCH is quite sensitive, emotional, verbal, and well... a typical first child. JDH is a completely different story. He is more aggressive, more cantankerous, and has no fear. Most recently, we welcomed JCH into the Hayes world and life as we know it has officially changed. After a Feb./Mar. bedrest, a 3 lb. 12 oz. blizzard March birth, and a 4.5 lb. home arrival, JCH has managed to strike down all obstacles and make me a proud mommy.

"So what was it we did before having children?" Dan recently asked me. Honestly, I don't remember what we did that was so much fun. I am glad that I can't remember what we did in our spare time because I might miss it. I think I had a clean house, a weedless garden, more adult friends without children, time on the toilet with the door closed, and longer showers. Dan and I may wish for a break now and then, but we wouldn't want a long one since we would miss our three. How did I get so lucky?

Good dog...stay

Saying goodbye is never easy especially when it is for forever. I know that losing a pet is part of life and many move on without so much as a tear. I, however, feel as though I have lost a good friend. Almost three weeks ago, Dan and I had to put our family dog, Emma, to sleep. She had been our girl long before the kids were born. In her 12 years of life, Emma managed to be my companion through three years of law school, late nights, long walks, short drives, four pregnancies, three births, late night feedings, and one-sided girl talks. I shed many tears while holding her and spoke many thoughts to her all the while, she never judged me. I knew logically that Emma's time was drawing near since she had cancer. But, I kept thinking it would be awhile and I never really thought about a house without her.

When I walked into the house for the first time since her passing, I felt such a loss since she wasn't greeting me at the door. I miss the strangest things. I miss her annoying ways of begging for food. I miss my kitchen companion although it was quite annoying to have her underfoot all the time. I miss our late night walks in the back yard, her noises, her smells, and most importantly, I miss my long time couch companion. She was mine and everyone knew it. I was hers and she definitely knew it. It still seems strange when I turn the corner and she isn't there. I am wise enough to know that time heals this loss. But, it is through loss that the memories flood in and the heart takes longer to heal. All of these emotions for a twelve year old Weim seem crazy. I was lucky to have Miss Emma for myself. I was told once that the pain that you feel in your soul when you lose an animal does not compare to the joy they gave you through life. I may never have another dog like Emma and that is okay. Good friends are hard to replace.

Finding Time

Okay, So I am a closet writer and never have time to do it now that I am the mother of three. This just may be the thing that allows me to express myself again without feeling like I never get to the scrapbooking, the journal, or to calling my friends. If it goes well, I may not need a new dog or even therapy for that matter. So, the world according to Hayes is good. We are still figuring out how to juggle three kids without looking like we have lost control. I hope when it is all said and done, my three will know that no matter what my house looked like or how bad their dinner tasted... I do love them. Finding enough time to make my life look good hasn't become nearly as important as finding enough time to breath deeply, thank God for my day, and to show my children that they are important.